Well it has been a long winter. I've been off line for the last few months and feel like I've been cut off from the rest of the world. So much has changed so much has happened. Financial struggles and tough choices, health issues and interesting findings have caused me to emerge this spring more hopeful, more focused, more determined, and more energetic.
A little background; I'm the mother of 8, six biological, one adopted and one step son. I worked as a foster parent for several years and in other jobs in the human services field. In June of 2004 I injured my back and have not recovered. I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and between the two I have not been very active, but have tried to not be defeated by the pain and depression. Well, last fall I was having more and more trouble walking, I almost felt like I was just curling up into myself. I went to the Dr. , blood tests revealed a severe vitamin D deficiency. After a few weeks of vitamin therapy I felt wonderful! I even stopped taking antidepressants. My new found sense of well being was short lived as I began experiencing unusual aching and pain in my arms my legs chest, and back. A trip to the Rheumatoligist led to the discovery of Fibromyalgia. Yea! Thank God for Lyrica. My energy increased dramatically
and the pain disappeared. So now I am left with only the pain from a degenerating back. This I can manage.
As the country began to struggle with the housing market crashing and all that followed we also began to struggle financially. The hopelessness of not being able meet our obligations was overwhelming. We made some tough decisions and and took the steps needed to move forward. We have to give up most of what we own. Our home will be a motor home, so space is limited.
As difficult as this winter has been and as painful as it was both physically and emotionally, I feel I have emerged healthier, happier, freer, and more in control of my own destiny than ever before.
The days ahead are a bit scary, I'm not sure how everything will play out but I look forward to getting on the road and reaching our first destination.
I guess I've learned that no matter how hopeless and helpless we feel we can rise above, we can decide to take back some sense of control. We can make decisions that restore our personal power. We can take charge of our lives and move forward if we are willing to make the tough choices, and the sacrifices that are sometimes necessary to rise above the circumstances we feel trapped in.
So many people are faced with choices they never thought they would have to face, so many people are having to walk way from the life they have worked so hard to build, so many have to make those sacrifices that will allow them to move forward, and so many people are feeling hopeless and helpless. We are a resilient people. We can rise up from the ashes and reinvent ourselves, rebuild our lives and move forward. We can restructure our lives to be better and stronger than before because in this climate we will be more inclined to build on a more solid foundation than we did before. I know I will.
