It seems a long while since I last posted and it has I guess. So much has happened, so much has changed, so much has stayed the same. There are days I wish I had just slept through and days I am so glad I didn't, like today.

Last weekend we had our first estate sale. The beginning of liquidating our household items. Those things that we can't take with us in our motor home. It was both a cleansing and disturbing experience as you might imagine. Hundreds of people wondering through your home, rummaging through your belongings bartering for a cheaper price on something you feel is priceless. Then realizing that after all the years of dusting and moving that priceless thing you don't have to dust it or move it any more. Priceless.

By the third day we were pretty well cleaned out of the big stuff like the dryer in my laundry room and the washer dryer combo upstairs. I was so grateful I still had the washer and then I realized that carrying baskets of laundry out to the clothes line was not optimal, nor was schlepping baskets of wet clothes to the laundromat. I told my husband and the lady in charge of the sale it was a bad idea. However the couple who bought the refrigerator aren't taking it till we leave and we haven't sold the stove yet. Sliver linings all over the place.

Today we sold a piece that belonged to this old house, a Pier mirror that was built for the wall that it hung on for most the last 175 years. I am very sad that this magnificent piece has been separated from it's home. Today I wanted to sleep all day. I was pretty upset earlier in the day about this and penned a few lines so I could capture those feelings of the moment. As I began to type this entry I looked out the window and realized why it was I had gotten up this sad morning.

Almost 30 years ago we dug a pond in the side yard and over the years it has grown and developed its own eco system as ponds do. The one thing we never had were ducks or geese that made their home here, probably because there ere always so many kids and animals. Then about 3 or 4 years ago two Canada Geese and a pair of Mallard Ducks decided to make their home with us.

Though we were sure the geese were nesting we never saw any evidence of babies even though I would see them on other ponds in the area. This year I decided they must be infertile. Then this morning as I began this post there they were Mama, Daddy and 4 goslings walking along the edge of the pond! Needless to say I had to look twice but sure enough they were definitely real.

As sad as all this moving away, selling my 'stuff' is I'm finding little joys, little reminders, little memories of things forgotten. Last week as my belongings were leaving my house with strangers I felt that my life was leaving with them, maybe part of it was. But as the days move forward and the planning moves forward new expectations grow, new hopes develop, new life replaces the old life.

The old life lives on in our children, our grandchildren, in that special tree we planted. In our heirlooms, our photographs, in our memories and in our hearts. But life is always changing growing, moving forward, usually or sometimes, we can direct it's path but other times we just have to follow where it takes us. Life is an adventure at times it seems boring or mundane, or just too sad until you look out the window.

It's Spring!

Well it has been a long winter. I've been off line for the last few months and feel like I've been cut off from the rest of the world. So much has changed so much has happened. Financial struggles and tough choices, health issues and interesting findings have caused me to emerge this spring more hopeful, more focused, more determined, and more energetic.

A little background; I'm the mother of 8, six biological, one adopted and one step son. I worked as a foster parent for several years and in other jobs in the human services field. In June of 2004 I injured my back and have not recovered. I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and between the two I have not been very active, but have tried to not be defeated by the pain and depression. Well, last fall I was having more and more trouble walking, I almost felt like I was just curling up into myself. I went to the Dr. , blood tests revealed a severe vitamin D deficiency. After a few weeks of vitamin therapy I felt wonderful! I even stopped taking antidepressants. My new found sense of well being was short lived as I began experiencing unusual aching and pain in my arms my legs chest, and back. A trip to the Rheumatoligist led to the discovery of Fibromyalgia. Yea! Thank God for Lyrica. My energy increased dramatically

and the pain disappeared. So now I am left with only the pain from a degenerating back. This I can manage.

As the country began to struggle with the housing market crashing and all that followed we also began to struggle financially. The hopelessness of not being able meet our obligations was overwhelming. We made some tough decisions and and took the steps needed to move forward. We have to give up most of what we own. Our home will be a motor home, so space is limited.

As difficult as this winter has been and as painful as it was both physically and emotionally, I feel I have emerged healthier, happier, freer, and more in control of my own destiny than ever before.

The days ahead are a bit scary, I'm not sure how everything will play out but I look forward to getting on the road and reaching our first destination.

I guess I've learned that no matter how hopeless and helpless we feel we can rise above, we can decide to take back some sense of control. We can make decisions that restore our personal power. We can take charge of our lives and move forward if we are willing to make the tough choices, and the sacrifices that are sometimes necessary to rise above the circumstances we feel trapped in.

So many people are faced with choices they never thought they would have to face, so many people are having to walk way from the life they have worked so hard to build, so many have to make those sacrifices that will allow them to move forward, and so many people are feeling hopeless and helpless. We are a resilient people. We can rise up from the ashes and reinvent ourselves, rebuild our lives and move forward. We can restructure our lives to be better and stronger than before because in this climate we will be more inclined to build on a more solid foundation than we did before. I know I will.

October is here

Well friends, it is the first of October and here in upstate NY the sun is trying to shine. The leaves are rapidly changing into a spectacular vision of reds and golds. The first gallon of fresh pressed apple cider is in the refrigerator. The last of locally grown produce is being harvested.

We begin the transition from the warmth of the summer sun to the cool days of autumn.The screens come out, the blankets are pulled from the closet, warm pj's make their first appearance since April.

The crock pot and soup kettle come out of their summer nesting place and begin to simmer with our favorite comfort foods. Homemade applesauce is warm on our plate, homemade apple pie fills the house with the comforting aromas of apple and cinnamon. Pumpkin rolls are filled with sweet cream cheese as we practice our recipes for the coming holiday season.

Pumpkins, mums, and cornstalks begin to line the walkways, driveways and porches in preparation of Halloween. The children are trying to decide what costume they want to wear on the one day of the year they can be whoever or whatever they want.

The first of October is also the time when we put our gardens to rest for the cold blustery winter that lies ahead and as every it year sneaks up on us while were still trying to eke out a few more minutes of the warmth of the final fall days.

As the days become shorter and the nights cooler we spend more time inside our homes curled up on the sofa with our kids and/or honeys to watch a movie or a football game. Pop the popcorn bring out the warm cider or hot cocoa and enjoy these fall days. Soon enough we will be throwing ourselves into the holiday mode and for many, time will be at a premium and those quiet moments of fall will give way to the hub bub of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This weekend make a pot of your favorite soup or stew, whip up an apple pie or a bit of homemade applesauce go out and enjoy the foliage if you can.

I dread the coming of winter, but I plan to head into those cold, snowey days with the peaceful comforting time of fall filling my mind and await the first night in spring. When we can open the windows to hear the creatures of summer begin to sing us into the lazy hazy days of summer.

Enjoy and stay warm.

OH! I do have an opinion about that

Well that was fun! I started writing and I was interrupted my a health check. So, I'm starting over.

I have been offline for a while trying to find my niche I guess. I have been pouring over blogs, watching the news to keep current on the latest crisis, and trying to find someone in our government and/or press that can tell the truth.

During these few weeks of searching and educating myself i have found that like many I have opinions on just about everything! Although I'm not sure we really need more opinions. I could take the easy way out and just tune into any news channel and I'm sure there will be someone who will tell me what my opinions are and save me the trouble of thinking for myself.

I was tempted to listen to an interview with John Kerry and Karl Rove in which they were going to tell us what the voters were thinking about something, the bailout or the debate. It was then that I decided that as long as they can get away with speaking for me I should really set the record straight. So here it goes.

Some times simple is better. For example wouldn't it just be simpler and less expensive if the candidates just told us the truth? I guess not because it's easier to lie and manipulate a nation that has become used to being told what to think, we are not really seeing or hearing what we're seeing or hearing, and we don't really believe what we believe.

Wouldn't it be simpler if the press just reported the facts and not their opinions? Apparently the media has come to the conclusion that we are so busy and preoccupied trying to figure out what candidate or pundit we want to have think for us that they have been required to fill in the gaps with their own opinions and agendas.

I watched the debate on Friday as I'm sure most of us did, but it wasn't complete until I listened to hours of explanation. However, in defense of those spewing their interpretations, I found I did miss something very critical. Apparently Mr. Obamah's skin was darker! They could only guess the cause, makeup or the Florida sun. WHAT!!! This is astounding to me. That I missed such an important issue. I swear I only left the room once. And to think that Bill Clinton would rather swallow glass than admit that Obamah is a great man!

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the bailout. The bill did not pass!!! Could it be that the lawmakers in the House are actually listening to their constituents? Though I did hear one reprter say that the majority of us want this beast to pass and quickly. Then why is it being repoted that calls , emails, and letters are pouring in against?

Another wondering, why are the guys who recieved the most money from these companies any where near the drafting of this legislation? No other time can I remember has the transparencies been so obvious as to the dirty dealings of the men and women, our elected officials, as it is now and they just keep on going.

Yes, an investigation has been launched, but why hasn't some stood up and said enough is enough? Is it to big a leap to think that they or their cronies my have an agenda other than the good of the nation? If these folks in charge of the finance committee are the only ones smart enough to figure out the solution why didn't they figure out a way to avoid this crisis when they took over the Senate?

Question after question with no answers, at least none that make any sense.

I think it is time for our Government officials to realize that they are, more than at any time in history unable to keep us in the dark. Even though the media for the most part spins or glosses over the truth it is still the truth and is still apparent. I guess if they can keep us running in circles with variations of the truth and telling us which truths are more important they win.

One last observation. I read this morning that our good friend Chavez thinks we need a new constitution. I hate to disagree with the fellow but maybe it would be more constructive if we started adhering to the one we have. You know the one that was meant to give the people the tools and guidelines that makes our country the greatest in the world. The constitution that was crafted to keep us free from total government control.

Remember these phrases as you ponder and worry about what might be coming next:

For the people by the people
The majority rules


A piece of advise to all you politicians and your representatives when you are asked a question please just answer the question. If you are asked a question about yourself or the person you represent don't answer it with the name of your opposition and their views it doesn't help us understand what you stand for only what you think about the other guy. My kids tried that tactic with me and it didn't work for them either.

The American people need to stop letting these adult adolescents getting away with treating us like we are not as smart as they are.

Well that is my rant for today. HAPPY BLOGGING and remember oour elected officials should be speaking on our behalf, our voice should be heard on the floors of the Houses not just a chosen few!

SUNDAY; New Beginnings

Well it is finally Sunday the beginning of a new week! after allowing myself to be fully engulfed in the world of the 24 hour news media, I've decided to come up for air! I know it will take more than a few deep breaths to cleanse my brain and my soul.

As do most of us, I try to keep up with what is going on in the world, but after this past week I somehow feel that there is no reason to want to know. Caylee Anthony, John Edwards, Russia invading Georgia, murder in Beijing, Obama, McCain, oil prices dropping (why are we still paying $4.19 a gallon), unemployment is rising, more airline 'extra charges', and all the things I either didn't hear about or can't remember. Depressing? Yes!!!!

So, for the next week I will only browse the headlines. I will try to find something meaningful to do. I will work in my garden, bake a pie, and some scones, visit my grandchildren, take my dogs for a long over due walk. I will try to be an inspiration to someone.

This week I will try to revive my passion for helping others. I will try to get back to work. Hopefully, as ambitious as my goals seem, these will lift me up and cleanse my soul of all the sadness, pain, anger, and negativity that fill our lives daily. "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS".

Thanks for listening, and if anyone out there feels the same or needs a boost let me know I'll be glad to listen and encourage. Life is to short to take things too seriously, especially those things we have little or no control over.

And yes, I still feel small when I stand beside the ocean.

Caylee Anthony

It has been a week since I last posted. I can not however stay silent any longer!
How long must we endure the lies, the outbursts, the never ending web of deceit surrounding the disappearance of Caylee Anthony? For weeks we have been led down a path of the most bizarre behavior imaginable by the people who claim to love this precious baby.
I applaud the Orange county sheriffs department for their exemplary conduct in what must be on of the most frustrating cases in history. Their patience with this family is amazing. I guess that's' why they get paid the big bucks.
While I understand Cindy and George wanting to keep their faces in the media but they should really have a spokesperson to help them manage the feeding frenzy. You have done your job the whole country is aware and no one who has been following the story will stop looking, hoping and praying for Caylee's return.
There is so much speculation about what has happened to this child and the only person who can tell us what has really happened is Casey, the woman that gave birth to this precious little girl. How can she not put this to rest?
Today Caylee is three , Happy Birthday little one. I hope you find your way home soon.
Casey I will pray for you, I hope that your heart soon softens and you put an end to this nonsense.

Are you serious?

When I decided to start blogging I thought I could share my lofty ideals, pass on wisdom cleverly disguised as common sense, perhaps vent about pet peeves. It has taken me several days to post anything. Well I was looking in the mirror the other night ready to begin my daily ritual of plucking my face and I realized that I take things to seriously these days. There I was hoping that there is some method developed to permanently remove facial hair before I end up in a long term care facility and have some cute nursing assistant(who will never deal with excess facial) hair start shaving me.
I looked at my eye brows and realized that because my vision is not as good as it once was I have almost plucked them clean. So busy were we raising our kids and helping others raise theirs that we did not plan well for our retirement, so no I can't get professional assistance for this problem. While I worry about higher gas prices, higher food prices, property & school taxes that are outrageously high, and whether medicare is going to cost us more than our current health care, I've decided that there are things that are beyond our control and worrying won't change them. The government for the most part has its own agenda which really has little to do with what the people need or want, the media believes their duty is to divulge every secret they can scrape up and to explain to us what we are hearing and seeing because apparently we are unable to decipher or discern the b.s that is being bestowed upon us.
So for today I'll not take myself or my circumstance so seriously that I fail to enjoy the little things that really make up life. Minutes with my kids, the joy of being a grandma, weeds in my garden, my willful dogs, my eccentric husband, not smoking, and facial hair. Welcome to my blog hope we can have some fun and some interesting but not too lofty discussion. Go enjoy your day!